I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
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I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
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We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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