Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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