Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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