she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
