I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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