you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.