Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.