PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.