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• (775): View more from Nevada

  god, a vagina is an amazing trump card

  Fav 6 3835 747

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• (949): View more from California

  You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?

  Fav 15 7903 1298

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• (408): View more from California

  He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (408): View more from California

  Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me

  Fav 2 1580 926

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.

  Fav 26 960 1712

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested

  Fav 1 1103 809

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED

  Fav 5 200 453

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.

  Fav 1 34 33

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?

  Fav 2 17 41

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