Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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(513): View more from Ohio

i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(204): View more from Manitoba

Glow parties are what I live for

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

Your priorities in life astound me

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

that's how you measure success

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?

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(209): View more from California

apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.

(843): View more from South Carolina

Why is this not a picture message?

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