Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
