Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.