yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
