I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize