Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
