Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize