There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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