She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
