At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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