He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
