You really coming over, don't trick.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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