I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I bet he comes in French.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Randomize
