I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
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She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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