in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.