Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
