3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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