no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
