I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize