Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
