can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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