i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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