I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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