I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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