all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
