bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
