I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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