I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
