If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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