SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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