I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
