i need an iv and a liver transplant
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
