Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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