im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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