okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
