I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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