cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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