Your mouth is God's brothel.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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