...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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