yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
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Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.