Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything