make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I need to stop coming to work sober
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.