Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
