Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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