they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Enjoy the penises
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
