Tell her she can't have a vagina
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
