Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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