she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't turn off my feet"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
