i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
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You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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