I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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