I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
