Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
