"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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