With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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