we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This couple is walking their pig around campus
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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