Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
