Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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