forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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