Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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