You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
