This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
