I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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