i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
