And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
