we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
