Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize