I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize