Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
