I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
