rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
